Erika's Words of Wisdom

My response to Matthew Hussey’s very entertaining video “Why 99% of Guys Don’t Approach Women”:

Erika / August 23, 2017

If you have not seen the video here it is. Have a look, read my side and share with me what you think.

WHY THE WRONG GUYS ALWAYS APPROACH YOU…

Posted by Matthew Hussey on Monday, August 21, 2017


Aloha Earthlings,

It has been my experience that if a man is really interested he WILL find a way to talk to you. I have witnessed, even endured it. There have been great internet searches done,  illegal police background checks, Bikram (Hot yoga) classes attended, even near accidents on the highway. If you want us, really want us, you find very creative and often highly entertaining ways to make it happen.

Matthew, I disagree, women should not “become more proactive,” we are already doing way too much.  I have seen many of my girlfriends make it way too easy. I have also been guilty of doing too much.  The female roll in all of this, Education:

The first part of education is to teach and encourage your sons, nephews, brothers and fathers to talk to the women they are attracted to. Explain to them, as I have done, that the pretty girls are often ignored or overlooked because of intimidation. We are people too, we have feelings, and when we are ignored or overlooked we begin to wonder if there is something wrong with us.

Personally, I have been advised by friends to make myself more approachable by “dressing down,” “wearing less expensive jewelry,” and told ‘never let him see that car.” If a man is emasculated by my accomplishments, he is not the one for me.  On the flip side, I was also a target for mooches.

The second part of education. We as women, must learn to identify the players much earlier in the game. To give the datable men their fair chance, we can raise the bar and force these players to change their ways, so the men we do want to spend time with have an opportunity to make a move without wetting their pants…

Often women do try to make it easy enough for the nice guys to make their move, but the players are always there and waiting to pounce. When I was single it felt like all I was attracting were the players. Because the players are always there. I was sometimes asked, the very offensive question, “How are you still single?” As if something was wrong with me! My response “Overqualified I guess.” If a guy hasn’t got the balls to come approach me that is not the sort of guy I want anyway.

A side note:
If you are the type of “guy that talks to everyone,” don’t get mad when we date your friend, the friend you stepped on to get to us first.

One reason why there are so many shitty relationships and divorce is rampant, “Settling!” Men, you are invited to take the lead and introduce yourself to the women you are attracted to. Talk to us and get to know us. When you don’t approach us we end up settling for the one that did. 

Another cause of a shitty dysfunctional relationship, the woman approaches the man or makes it TOO easy for him. Men tend to go for the path of least resistance, this is what I have observed on my journey.  When a man settles for the woman that approaches him he will always be looking and wondering “what if?”  And saying to other women, “If only I were single…”

If the attraction is only physical from either side this is not a match. As soon as this is recognized by either person  it is time to let it go. Don’t block yourself or the other person by trying to force a relationship that is anything but amazing. Gentlemen, how do you sleep at night knowing your dream girl is currently in a relationship with some tool that only had the balls to approach her.

We are all humans, talk to one another, talk to everyone. You may make a friend. You may and probably will have a strong attraction to someone based on personality or an unexplainable energy, you know “it”?  Some of us have “it” you don’t know what “it” is but you are strongly attracted to it.  Relationships, true friendships are based on more then physical attraction alone. Go for it talk to the girl, what do you have to lose? The girl! That’s the entire point.

Matthew after reading this, would you mind making a video addressing the “guys that approach everybody”and ask them to dial it back enough for you nice guys. Since you are British I am sure you will have no trouble coming up with a cheeky way to amuse and entertain while getting the point across to your bros.
Aloha